i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she told me i tasted like america
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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