Your tits are I can't wait for
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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