my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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