Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
