I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
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I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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