can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
