did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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