Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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