you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
