tell your sister to shave her snatch
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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