So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
