just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
