If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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