I don't usually arrange sex via text message
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..