Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just gargled with NyQuil
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
