Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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