Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Randomize
