i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
