she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize