The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
