Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
