Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Porn is love you can see.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
