I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
