I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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