Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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