I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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