i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
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Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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