I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
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While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
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We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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