i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
