This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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