You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
