I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
