Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
