I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
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it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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