He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
