She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
