How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
