Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
