UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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