so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
