i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
