there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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