Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
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Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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