I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Randomize