Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
jump out the window naked night went bad
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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