just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
