All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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