Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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