I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
