I think i sorta joined a cult last night
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
