i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Randomize
