i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
