yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
