And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
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She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
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My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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