To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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