I'm eating all of the evidence.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
